Deborah Gyapong: A victim of abuse asks “Why do you feel so sorry for him and not for me?”

A victim of abuse asks “Why do you feel so sorry for him and not for me?”

The Church has been hit over the past year by two detailed government reports on sexual abuse in Ireland and waves of abuse allegations in Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Belgium and the Netherlands. Five bishops have quit because of the scandals.

Church and legal documents published in the United States this spring showed how American bishops and the Vatican dealt with predator priests without informing police of their crimes.

The Belgian tapes stand out as a rare verbatim record of how a leading Catholic prelate tried to persuade the victim, a 42-year-old nephew of Mr. Vangheluwe, to keep the case quiet.

They emerged as a judicial probe into the scandal teetered on the edge of collapse after reports that a June 24 police raid on Church offices and Mr. Danneels’s apartment to seize files and computers was illegal and the documents could not be used.

In their one-on-one meeting, the victim says he feels a duty to report the case to the Church hierarchy and asks Mr. Danneels to help. The cardinal responds by urging him not to go public.

“The bishop will resign next year, so actually it would be better for you to wait,” the cardinal says. “I don’t think you’d do yourself or him a favour by shouting this from the rooftops.”

The man pleads for help but Mr. Danneels, 77, who had stepped down as Brussels archbishop in January, says he cannot discipline Mr. Vangheluwe or inform higher authorities, including Pope Benedict. The bishop should turn himself in, he says.
Mr. Danneels warns the victim against trying to blackmail the Church and urges him to seek forgiveness, accept a private apology from the bishop and not drag “his name through the mud.”

“He has dragged my whole life through the mud, from 5 until 18 years old,” says the victim, who denies he wants to blackmail anyone. “Why do you feel so sorry for him and not for me?”